Nick exists

My co-worker Nick is kind of slow, and really irritating to be around, but he’s a nice guy if you treat him nice and make him think you get him. Sometimes I feel bad for being manipulative, but then he’ll be an idiot, or make weird horse noises at me, or ogle the jiggly parts of the lady I’m serving so obviously she gets scared off, and I don’t really feel as bad. When I heard he is only a couple years older than I am (physically), I was shocked at how different our lives are, him looking at least 35, a ton of kids, and another ton of ex-wives. Then I start feeling bad for him again.

Getting him to like you is really easy, just be within earshot of him and get into a ghetto stance and say “2chaaaiiiiyyyiiyyiiiyyiiiinzz~” while wiggling your hands around. He’ll look at you all tear-y eyed and smile, “I like you Tristan… you get me…”, he sniffles, wiping a tear into his macaroni and cheese.

Not sure what this post was about anymore? Nick exists. Just me talking about the people I work with.

A guy I know who insists on being called named Dr. Afro would probably like Nick, they’re kind of alike.

  1. incorporealnuance posted this


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